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How to Have Sexier Lifestyle Halloween Season

Ah, Halloween season, the lifestyle equivalent of the holidays without family obligations, gift shopping, marathon cooking, only far more fun. Halloween has effectively become the adult version of Christmas during past decade, with total spending exceeding $9 billion in the US for 2017. Planning for a LS Halloween season for maximum fun takes a bit of work but it is worth it.


Scheduling in the lifestyle has an interesting pattern during October that seems to go something like this in both kink and swingers circles. One year clubs, groups and people in a geographic area will schedule six parties within the the last two weeks of October. Forcing people to pick and choose. In reaction, the following year everyone will either pre-load parties earlier in the month or into November, leaving the end of October oddly empty out of fear of scheduling.

The ideal solution to this would be that clubs and groups would coordinate dates, leaving people to fill in house parties for a fun, filled month. In reality, there are greater odds of a letter arriving from Hogwarts for me a few years too late. At the start of the month, make a list of the parties you and your partners(s) may want to attend and the dates. RSVP to these parties as soon as you can for a number of reasons.

First, common courtesy. Second, everyone in the all aspects of lifestyle is notoriously flaky about committing to plans thus causing nerves on the part of those throwing parties. If you are going to go, commit. Conversely, if you can not attend let the venue know if you have marked yourself as attending or drop a text with regrets for house party invitations. Third, and most importantly, if you say you are going to attend, barring an emergency, please ignore the temptation of Netflix the night of and go. I'm guessing the no show rate for LS parties is around 40%, which is insane. Be sure to leave room in your schedule for parties thrown by vanilla friends who never seem to see you on the weekends anymore...

When planning for hotel takeovers or other such large parties, you may be out of luck for this year. Halloween and New Years Eve are generally the biggest parties on LS calendars and will sell out. Plan in advance for these and book your room the minute you purchase tickets to help get the room type and where you want. What is you preference on beds? Would you prefer to be near the party floors or have more peace and quite? When booking for these events, call the property directly to book, be the epitome of polite and tip well upon arrival.


Costumes and being someone different is part of the allure of Halloween for all ages. You can be as sexy, slutty, scary or funny as you like. This should go with out saying, really it should, but DO NOT wear a costume that involves blackface, Nazis, Confederate flags, "Jokes" aimed at a group or race, you should get the drift. When in doubt, don't.

With that ugly bit of business out of the way, some thoughts when planning costumes for LS and vanilla parties in general:

1) Is it appropriate for the party? In line with any themes?

Those out side of the LS can view Halloween as Cady in Mean Girls, "Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it." Where as most reading this consider that sort of a normal party outfit. Good news is, with a little toning down, one of your LS outfits can be perfect for your college friend's annual night of "debauchery".

Throwing a theme party is a gamble anytime, especially around Halloween. There is always the underlying worry that people won't dress accordingly after all of their hard work and planning. When attending a party with a clearly stated theme, make an effort even if it inst a theme you are personally into. Think creatively and add your own spin.

2) Does it require an explanation?

Keep in mind the attendees at a party. While in some circles your sexy costume that is a pun on an obscure 18th century poem may be hilarious, odds are, few will get it at a big party. Skip any costume that requires an explanation of the context, delivery or backstory. When in doubt, ask three friends without preamble regarding the costume.

This is even more applicable with couples and group costumes. These types of costumes can be fantastic when well done, or a total failure. Be sure the costumes make sense when you are not standing right next to each other.

3) Logistics. Can you fit through a doorway easily & get in and out out a car with minimal assistance? Can you go to the bathroom? Will excessive makeup cause a problem after play? Can you walk more than ten feet?

Years ago my cousin went as a big, foam glass of Guinness on a pub crawl in Chicago. This did not end well.

Think through where the party is, available seating, and when and how you will be playing. If there were ever a reason for multiple outfit changes, it is Halloween. Make an entrance for a few hours in your main costume, then change into a secondary less complicated one. On a personal note, please don't inflict glitter on your friends homes. It sticks around until New Years.

Finally, have fun and be creative! Don't just order a "Sexy 'Insert Profession Here'" costume kit online and be done with it. A little thought and planning goes a long way and is far less stressful than putting together a costume on Friday night for a Saturday party. Plus, fall parties are the best when that brief, magical window opens; you aren't sweating and most likely wont need a coat. Please be careful, respect each other and play safely. If you choose partake in adult beverages and such, eat before the party, plan on a DD or Lyft and keep in mind how this will effect your play. Have a fabulous, safe, and kinky Halloween season!

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Have Fun!

-Kink Things!

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